


Drunk In Love

by takemylifenotmyheart



Category: Loki - Fandom, Marvel Cinematic Universe
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-12-12
Updated: 2018-12-12
Packaged: 2019-09-17 02:54:02
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,984
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16966344
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/takemylifenotmyheart/pseuds/takemylifenotmyheart
Summary: You have a huge crush on Loki but you’re too chicken to tell him sober, so some help comes in the way of alcohol and 10/10 friends encouraging you. But does Loki believe you?





	Drunk In Love

Two vodka lemonades, three shots of tequila and half a pitcher of some delicious, orange coloured cocktail down, you were decidedly on your way to finally confess to your crush, how you really felt about him. Previously faced problems in the exact same version of this situation except with sobriety, such as, the hot favourite - what if he doesn’t like me? - followed by the comparatively less daunting, but equally concerning when viewed in absolute terms - How do I tell him? What if he hates me? Does he even like me? Are we even friends? Wait, he knows I exist, right? Last week when he said “I’m glad we’re friends” did he mean it or was he faking it? (Why would he fake it? Did someone make him? Why would they?) Anyway, the point was that there were several such questions, each infinite in their haunting possibilities. Oh and not to forget the upgraded version of the classical “they’re out of my league” trope - he was a literal god and I was what? A very dull creature by all comparisons.

 

Now, here’s where you went off on a slight tangent about the wonderful qualities of alcohol in your mind to rationalize your bad decisions, as one does. See that was the thing about alcohol, too much of it made everything seem so insignificantly small in the moment. Disastrous, life shattering decisions in hindsight maybe yes, but in that moment? The Absolut™ Best Thing To Do.

So there you were. You’d also brought along a bottle of rum with you for good reason, apart from to lull you into the false comfort that what you were about to do was what you should definitely be doing, should the entire evening’s worth of drinks somehow fail you in your moment of need. One might wonder, what sort of friends you had to let me do this unspeakable thing that all movies and TV shows explicitly warn you against. Well, the answer to that is - the very best because they’re the ones who set you up on this very sweet deal. They made a strong point, they said they were tired of you whining about how hot he was and how considerate and misunderstood and blah blah blah and so you’d better tell him and get it over with. If he didn’t like you, then you could just fast forward to the part where you were heartbroken and got over it. Him liking you was a possibility they were pushing for as well, but if you were all being real here that was never an option anyway. Do people keep forgetting he’s a literal god? Like, you weren’t sure exactly how Norse mythology worked but you were pretty sure he had a fricking wife up there or something. You weren’t about to be a side hoe, not even for a god. A really hot one at that too. Hot and mysterious, mmm. Okay would being a side hoe really be that bad I mean wh-

 

Smack.

 

You had to slap myself to get your thoughts together, that’s how bad it was. Shaking your head, you made your way to Loki’s room, stumbling a little and maybe having had to take a few detours to get the right area. Finally reaching what you hoped was his door, you took a deep breath before you knocked. Once softly, then thinking it wasn’t loud enough two times more and then worrying that that was too much, you chased your worries down with a swig of the rum. It seemed like an eternity before the door opened to reveal Loki standing, looking strangely at you.

 

“Heyyy Lokiii” you did an awkward wave with one hand before losing your balance and having to hold the frame of the door.

 

“Y/N are you drunk?”

 

“Nope,” you popped the p animatedly and shook your head very seriously, your hands crossed behind your back holding the bottle.

“I can see the bottle you know?,” there was the slightest glimmer of amusement in Loki’s eyes.

 

“Damnit Loki, fuck you for being a “god”,” you air quoted the word as you walked grudgingly past him into his room and plopped down on his bed, swinging your legs. You took another sip of the rum and made a face as it burned. It didn’t taste nice at all, you wondered why alcohol couldn’t taste nicer. It would make things so much easier, such as - getting drunk for example, you nodded self satisfactorily at your judgement.

 

“Alright, no more alcohol for you,” Loki came and sat down next to you on the bed.

 

“But I need it!”

 

“For what?”

 

“I have something to say to you,” you said very solemnly, trying to stare him down. As solemnly as you could while you couldn’t keep a straight posture and kept tilting to each side in turns. Still, you held your unwavering gaze, or so you hoped, looking into his gorgeous green eyes and finding yourself beginning to get lost in their beauty.

“You’re so pretty,” it slips out of your mouth softly, in sudden realization and awe more than anything else. Loki laughs out at your sudden, heartfelt confession.

 

“You’re drunk come on, let’s get you to bed. How much did you have?”

 

“Not enough BUT-,” Loki was about to cut in but you dramatically gestured, “yes I’m drunk right now and you’re pretty, but when I wake up tomorrow I’ll be sober and you will still be pretty,” you finished seriously with breaks in the middle, the technicalities of the sentence being a little too much for your drunk brain to accurately process at once.

 

“What?” Loki couldn’t not react, it drew out a smile on his face despite himself. God, he looked so beautiful when he smiled. He looked so beautiful in general, you sighed, unbelievably lovesick.

 

“I stole that off a cheesy screencap,” you giggled, all seriousness forgotten in an instant. You remembered the exact background picture it had come with, of a boy and girl lying in bed looking at each other. Your brain suddenly circled back to the original reason why you’d decided to undertake this suicide mission, to tell Loki how you felt about him so he could reject you and you could start Healing. Picture of spiritual healing classes popped up in your head, you drunkenly made a note to call them up tomorrow morning after Loki had smashed your heart with a Mjolnir. He could lift it, he was totally worthy, you decided in your brain.

 

Loki shook his head, still smiling. “Is that what you had to tell me?”

 

His question brought back the initial trepidation. “No,” you said slowly after a full minute, your heart rate steadily increasing.

 

“Then?”

 

Taking a deep breath, you closed your eyes to prepare yourself to finally do this. But before, “Promise me you won’t hate me after I tell you?” The thought that Loki would turn you down, however harsh was still more acceptable to you than the idea of Loki being somehow repulsed by you. Oh god, you hadn’t thought through all the possibilities, had you. Of course you hadn’t, this was a drunk impulsive decision. Now you were beginning to think that maybe, just maybe this was a bad idea but you were in way too deep to do anything about it anymore. Great decision making skills as always, Y/N. You only hoped Loki couldn’t somehow see the life - falling - apart - frame - by - frame slideshow that was playing in your brain now. Oh wait he could if he wanted to. That’s it you were done for oh wait he was speaking-

 

“-I could never hate you, Y/N. Besides, who else would I talk to in the compound? Everyone’s either scared to death of me or hates me as it is, I don’t want to lose the only person who treats me like I’m human.”

 

“But you’re not,” you said in an obvious tone.

 

“Excuse me?”

 

“You’re not human loki you’re a god.”

 

Loki laughed out at your reasoning and then said, “Point is, I won’t hate you, so what is it?”

 

Okay Y/N time to get it out. Once you said it, it’d be out and he’d know and you could stop moping about him and the possibilities and start getting over him. That was the deal, that was the deal that was why you’d decided to do this. Taking a deep breath and with a small, shaky voice you said-

 

“I like you.”

 

Silence. Your heart was pounding in your chest, it was so loud you could hear it. You hadn’t dared to look up at Loki while speaking, your hands were clammy and fingers were furiously fiddling with each other, not sure what it was you actually wanted him to say, if at all.

 

“I like you too Y/N.”

 

You were mildly infuriated at his response, wasn’t there some kind of outer-space law about gods being oblivious and unintelligent or something? Thor and Loki were both so naive at times, Thor more than Loki, that sometimes you wondered who let them be gods.

 

“What?! No loki ugh I like like you.”

 

Your frustration made you less panicky this time, as you expectantly looked at him waiting for him to realize what you’d actually meant to say. Instead there was no change in his expression as he simply said back to you,

 

“I like like you too.”

 

Wait What? Hold on, this wasn’t going the way you’d planned it.

“You’re messing with me aren’t you you’re using your tricks?” You squinted accusingly at him to see if he was upto something, magic wise.

 

“I’m really not, Y/N.”

 

“Is this some sort of reverse psychology where you’re trying to get me to take my words back because I can’t I’ve loved you for too long to chicken out now nope im gonna fight you.” You didn’t know what was happening, things, words were spiralling wildly out of control as well as your mouth. It’s like you had no control over what you were saying, did you just ask Loki, a god, to fight you? This was slowly turning out to be your worst nightmare. You weren’t even making any effort to take back your words. You were strongly standing by what you said. The words you said being “im going to fight you”. To a god. Context being you being in love with him. Okay great, this was going spectacularly, brilliant.

 

“Y/N you’re really drunk right now.”

 

“So THAT’S IT you think just because I’m drunk I won’t remember what you said the next morning don’t you?”

 

Wait, what? There it was again with the no control on which words decided to exit your mouth in which order. No consultation, nothing. Your alcohol induced brain was kickstarting a free-for-all party all by itself, feeding you hormonal nonsense. Of course, at the moment it seemed like God’s flawless logic.

 

“Does that mean, you didn’t even mean what you said, you just went with whatever I’m saying you, I can’t believe you’d do that to me, you didn’t have to lie Loki you could’ve just said that you didn’t like me like that,” your voice cracked midway with the tears threatening to spill choking your throat. Midway you realized, you were actually making sense. Your addled brain had somehow reached the conclusion quicker than your rational reasoning, you didn’t really know how to feel about that.

 

“No y/n I didn’t, I meant what I said- ”

 

“Shut it, you’ll just say anything to get your way won’t you, isn’t that your thing? God of Mischief? Well, mischief managed thanks a lot,” you were crying by now, tears streaming unflatteringly down your face. You were crying yes, but you were still proud of that Harry Potter you’d snuck in there. Classic Y/N, classic. You got up from the bed rubbing your face with the back of your hands, this had gone disastrously. But then again, isn’t it sort of what you’d wanted? Wasn’t this going almost how you’d envisioned it? Why was this so confusing, this was why feelings should be cancelled. Even during moments of Peak Crisis, you brain couldn’t shut its second grade commentary. You almost wished you could smack it at times.

 

“Y/N no wait!”

You felt a hand on yours, stopping you from going any closer to the door. You turn around and Loki got up from the bed and walked towards you and pulled you closer to him. He was now so close to you, you could smell him. He smelled a little like burnt fire, something earthy and an indistinct scent that somehow reminded you of the woods. He was so close to you, his hands were on your waist and you were painfully aware of exactly where each finger was pressing in gently. “I do love you, I’ve loved you ever since you came up to me one day and said, with absolutely no context, I might add “Hey do you charge per murder or do you do it for the adrenaline?” and sat down next to me waiting for an answer. I’d never been so confused and also turned on my whole life.”

 

“Really?” you whispered, not sure if what you were hearing was real or if your brain was dreaming things up. 

 

“Yes, really. That and how you never treated me differently, never pretended to be tough, how you were never scared of me, despite knowing everything. So I do love you y/n and the reason I really didn’t want to do this now is because,” Loki looked down for a moment and took a deep breath before continuing, “because yes you’re drunk, very drunk and you won’t remember any of this when you wake up but I will; and you’re going to behave like this never happened tomorrow morning. I didn’t want to do it but you started crying and god, I don’t ever want to be the cause of that. I couldn’t stand letting you think I don’t love you, even when you’re this intoxicated, and even if it breaks my heart.”

Loki finished talking and you didn’t think it was possible but he looked like someone had punched the air out of him. He looked weary and worn out, a little desperate even. You were no better, you couldn’t string together a single coherent phrase. You just stood there in his arms, impossibly close to him and slightly giddy. Even intoxicated the confession sounded really sad to you, why did it feel like an ending more than a beginning? Why was Loki so sure that you’d forget this the next morning?

“I won’t forget this tomorrow morning,” you said softly not knowing what else to say.

“Everyone says that y/n, I’ve seen too many midgardian films to know how this works out, this phenomenon seems….common,” he gave you a weak, sad smile.

 

“Try me tomorrow, god-boy.” Loki says nothing this time, he only gives you a sad smile. It twists your gut a little, how sad he looks. You knew for a fact you wouldn’t forget this tomorrow morning, how could you? It was the single greatest night of your life, there was no way you were forgetting this. Right?

 

“Can I atleast kiss you?” You asked softly, not wanting to end this night without any tangible souvenir. It all seemed so surreal, the world spinning slightly and Loki confessing he loved you too. It was like in a movie.

“If you remember this tomorrow, I will.” You could see him struggling to keep his resolve, his gaze having travelled more than once towards your trembling lips.

“Promise?”

“Promise. Will you go to bed now?”

His voice sounded strained, like having you so close to him was punishing in ways he couldn’t explain.

“Will you sleep with me?”

When Loki looked like a deer caught in headlights you realized the implications of your question, not that you personally minded it. 

“Not sex sleep, just sleep sleep.”

“Do you just repeat the same word when you want to emphasize on it?”

“What?”

“Nevermind and alright I’ll sleep with you,” he said with a slight shake of his head, knowing he couldn’t refuse you even if he wanted to. He’d already said no to one request, and it has killed him because he believed it was probably the closest he had come to, to kissing you and he’d gambled it away. He wasn’t going to let this chance pass him by the same way.

Your face lit up as he agreed and so did his when he saw you smiling. The bed was already made even though it definitely wasn’t when you’d entered, so Loki had obviously messed around. You climbed into bed and Loki got in beside you, drawing the blanket over both of you. You faced him as you lay down, the green eyes looking into yours again but now it seemed so much more intimate, innocent.

“Close your eyes Y/N, else you’ll never fall asleep.” Loki admonished you, gently touched your eyelids in turn with his fingers to bring them down. You kept your eyes closed but you giggled in response.

“You’re cold, I like you.”

Another giggle and another smile from Loki, one you couldn’t see.

“Goodnight y/n.”

“Goodnight loki, love you.” You mumbled out of habit as sleep was quickly catching up with you. Your eyelids were shutting on their own accord as you sleepily, unthinkingly, shifted closer to Loki’s body and nestled your face against his chest.

 

“Love you too y/n,” Loki said it back with a beating heart, barely a whisper as he tentatively placed the lightest kiss on your head.

× × ×

The next morning you wake up with a killer headache, your head throbbing as you tried to slowly squint open your eyes, the light streaming in was not making it any easier. As the details of your surroundings faded in, you realized that you were in your own room. Soon after that, memories of last night flooded your mind. It took you a while to come to terms with what had really happened, or what you had remembered to be precise. What if you had dreamt it all up, then what? It seemed too good to be true, even as if came back in flashes. Loki’s hands on your waist, your faces practically touching, his lips impossibly close to yours; and just like that you felt your heart beat increase. No, you knew you remembered last night clearly enough. Everything was too wild and fantastical for you to have dreamt it all up, it had to be true. It was one of those moments where reality stumped even imagination. But it was the morning after and you wondered what the state of things were now, a lot of things changed with the daylight. Had Loki meant what he said? Was he going to acknowledge it?

You winced at a particularly sharp throb and it cut you off from your express train of thoughts. You realized you were still in the clothes you had gone out wearing last evening, your hair was a mess and you didn’t even want to face what you looked like. A raccoon, maybe worse. Sighing, you got up from your bed popped some pills and went straight into the bathroom. An hour and a hot shower later, amongst other things, you emerged from the bathroom fully human. Well, almost. Physically. You put on some shorts, threw on an oversized shirt and decided to get something to eat before you went to meet Loki. Sure love was great, but it was a terrible substitute for hunger.

You went to breakfast and saw only Bucky at the counter, you assumed everyone else was already done.

“Hey you’re up before 12 and..showered? What’s going on am I in the right century?”

“I don’t know about the universe but you’re definitely in the wrong century, Freezebie,” you grinned at Bucky. 

“HEY MAN HOW YOU LET HER CALL YOU THAT,” Sam’s voice came loud and offended from somewhere long before you could see him.

“Because I like her Sam and I don’t like you we’ve gone over this.”

“Whatever man you’re just mean to me, I don’t like you. Hey y/n, waddup?” You grinned at their banter as you bit into an apple, Sam and Bucky fighting is what kept the whole compound entertained.

“Hey Sam, I’m good. Oh by the way, gave someone your number expect a call soon,” you gestured a telephone with your fingers and wiggled your eyebrows suggestively.

“OOH OOH IS IT THAT HOT FRIEND ‘O YOURS?”

“Wait for the call, birdie you’ll find out.”

“I’m going to pretend I didn’t hear that because I love you.”

Bucky and you both laughed as Sam rushed back to his room to get his phone and soon after Thor walked into the kitchen. Seeing him you remembered that you still needed to talk to Loki, the kitchen banter had distracted you completely.

“Ah, good morning Y/N! James!”

“Morning Thor, hey any idea where your brother might be?” 

“It’s strange you should ask, I actually saw him go into his room at 6am today morning and he hasn’t left since.”

××× 

Leaving Bucky and Thor to chat, you left for Loki’s room. As you made your way through the corridors, chronological memories of last night kept flooding your senses.

You knocked softly, not knowing what to expect or how to bring up the concerned topic.

“Hey! So both of us basically confessed our love for each other last night but I was drunk and you said I wouldn’t remember and I do so- what do we do now?” Even in your head it sounded horrible and with every new one you were coming up with it just kept getting worse. What were you going to say? Just like last night, you had no idea.

The door opened to reveal Loki, impeccably dressed as always. How did he manage to get into a suit at 9am in the morning? Was he even human? Oh wait-

“Hey, didn’t see you at breakfast, you okay?”

Weak start Y/N, weak start.

“I’m fine, I’m alright.”

“Did you uh get sleep? Because I just met Thor and he said he saw you going into your room at 6am so-”

“Yes I did, actually. I was just up early today, I had some work.”

He wasn’t even pretending like last night had in fact happened at all. Why was he making this so hard for you? Guess it was time to bring out the big guns, you sighed internally. You had really wanted it to be more subtle and smoother than this but he really wasn’t leaving you with much choice.

“Oh, okay. I just have a question for you.”

“Yes, what is it?”

“Correct me if I’m wrong, but I clearly remember falling asleep curled up next to you in your room last night. You wouldn’t happen to have any idea how I woke up my room would you?”

You tried to keep the straightest face possible like you’d just asked him the simplest question there ever was. Hey Loki what’s 2+2? His pale face slowly turned a shade of the lightest red and you couldn’t believe you’d made him blush. After a silence bordering on almost uncomfortable, during which both of you just continued to look at each other as if figuring out , Loki spoke.

“You remember.” A smile was slowly creeping into his beautiful features, you were living for it.

“I told you I would, you didn’t believe me.” You were still feigning nonchalance but the feelings from last night were rushing in, with double the adrenaline force. There was no way Loki could back out now, he had to own up to his promises. Right?

“So all those things you said last night, you still mean them?”

Loki couldn’t believe what was happening. Last night was one of his saddest but also simultaneously one of his loveliest nights yet. He’d loved you for so long and last night he’d come to impossibly close to realising his dream, except Loki knew it was all too good to be true. He had had trouble believing you when you’d said you liked him, it felt as if his heart had jumped straight out of his body, he hadn’t thought loving him was even possible to begin with. He hadn’t wanted to push his luck with his own confession because he knew you wouldn’t remember anything the morning after but then you’d cried and he couldn’t not tell you, even if it was for a moment’s satisfaction for you, you were worth it. Even then he was convinced his happiness was temporary, he believed- he knew it had ended with you falling asleep lying next to him, your hands and legs entagled all over him. He hadn’t known endings could be that beautiful. He’d stayed away for a long time afterwards, watching you breathe and the rise and fall of your chest. Loki had sworn he’d never seen you look more peaceful and careless, as innocent as a baby. In the morning he’d woken up and carried you to your room, not wanting to have to explain anything the next morning in the wake of your lapse of memory. The walk from your room to his at 6 in the morning was something he wish he didn’t have to do. He’d never expected in a million years that you’d actually remember what happened. He’d felt like someone had punched him in the gut when you’d walked in today morning in your oversized shirt and shorts that disappeared under them. The slight outline of your breasts against the fabric was enough to drive him insane because he couldn’t touch you. But everything he’d assumed was now just turned on it’s head because holy fuck you remembered? His heart was pounding but he had to make sure, he couldn’t get his hopes up for nothing.

“I don’t know about all but I most definitely meant the whole “I’m so hot for you Loki, make me yours” part.”

You were now messing around with him, a slight smile tugging at the corner of his lips. You could see he’d caught on and the smirk on his face mirrored yours.

“Interesting choice of words, if you’d phrased it that way last night I’m not sure I would’ve been able to restrain myself from doing it.”

“You could’ve had it last night, if you it had a little more faith in me, and if you hadn’t been a prude.”

You rolled your eyes exaggeratedly as Loki closed in on you in two strides and grabbing you by your waist, he pulled you to himself. There was no space left between the two of you, your face was dangerously close to his. Your hands were trapped against his chest, you knew he could feel your heart shamelessly fluttering, how could he not? When he finally spoke, his voice was soft, smooth and right against your skin.

“Can we please argue about that later, I’ve been waiting for far too long to do this.”

With that his brushed against yours and then he really kissed you. His lips were soft and pliant against yours, like he’d waited for this moment for a million years and now that it was finally here he didn’t want to ruin it. It was urgent, but sweet. You kissed him back fervently, as if not believing if this was real or if it actually lasted outside of your daydreams. Your hands made their way round his neck and Loki only you pulled you closer with a jerk, the friction making you smile against each others. You licked a stripe across his lips, unsure of how far he was he was willing to go and the next moment his minty breath was engulfing your mouth, teeth tugging on your lips as it suddenly became more urgent, needy. It was as if you both were trying to immerse yourselves into one another. When you finally broke the kiss, you could swear you heard Loki groan as he chased your lips to give you a last, long peck. And then another. You would’ve never believed he could be this affectionate, you giggled at him as he pulled you towards the bed and eventually onto his lap. He wrapped his arms around you and sat there looking at you with a smile on his face as you played around with his hair, stroking it and twisting it into locks. He let you. You suddenly burst into a fit of giggles out of nowhere.

“What is it, what did you do to my hair?” Loki didn’t look angry, merely amused.

“Nothing, I just realized that I’m dating- wait we’re dating right?” You stopped midway to make a quick confirmation, you just thought you’d best be sure instead of assuming things.

“Yes darling, we are.” He said with a laugh. Do you want a proposal? Or whatever they call it here?”

“No but holy shit I can’t believe I’m dating a god?!” Loki burst out laughing at your wide eyed enthusiasm.

“Better believe it, darling,” he said with a smile and a kiss to your cheek.

“Does this mean I get bragging rights?” Loki just laughed again, each question of yours more hilarious to him than the one before. “I suppose so,” he said as he shook his head and looked on fondly at you, your eyes lighting up in excitement. Loki wasn’t one for drinking at all, never had been but he had never been more glad than in that moment, looking at you like you held the stars in your eyes, that that’s what you had decided to do last night.


End file.
